That Old Timer'll, He'll Tell You A Story For A Stick'a Hubba Bubba
They called him Doc Virgin. He rode into town on a non-descript grey-white horse and hitched it in a sensible spot.
He dressed in old sackcloth with lots of pockets for his expensive knife and his top-of-the-line can opener and his little Billy The Kid action figure, still in the package. He went straight for the darkest corner of the bar and sat there readin’ some little book about Chinese dragons. They said he set up projectors for the movin’ pictures, shoot, ain’t nobody around here understands that new technology, he must’a been making at least seventy three cents a week, maybe even seventy eight. He didn’t drink, he didn’t gamble, and every time that Tennessee barmaid went over he got all nervous and ran out back to the latrine for a while. But let me tell you, I was there the day somebody said King Arthur would beat Sir Percival in a fight, and after what I saw happen, I wouldn’t want to get on Doc Virgin’s badside. That gun’a his might’a looked a little too “fancy boy” for some folks, but when you saw what came out of it… hell, if I’d’a had a gun like that I’d probably still be paintin’ little Civil War soldiers myself.
We brought this classic back because: of the opening of another unicorn season, and because the new color scheme and orientation make better camouflage for unicorn huntin’ – especially the sparkly metallic ink where the gray used to be. Unicorns tend to congregate in really sparkly forests.
Wear this shirt to: Ain’t gonna be much use for a shirt like this outside’a some fancy-schmancy college town. Or on a lady, beg pardon ma’am, it shore would look purty on you. Maybe throw it on if you’re fixin’ to confuse some homophobic gun lover.
Don’t wear this shirt to: Biker bar. Unless you’re a lady, beg pardon ma’am, you shore would be a breath of fresh air in a place like that.
This shirt tells the world: “I have the sort of inner bravery that this nation was founded on. Unless you’re a lady, beg pardon ma’am, it shore would be a clever fashion statement on you.”
We call this color: Black Is The New Lemon.
Design Placement: Left Side
Design Size:
3X – S: 6.77” x 19”
WXL - WS: 5.08” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 4.54” x 12.75”
Pantone Color(s): – 179C – 259C – 313C – 361C – Silver Shimmer
Please check our before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
