kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



Han: Hey, how come he got a cape and I'm stuck with this painted-on Members Only jacket?

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek


Leia: Does this look okay to you?
Lando: Uh, it's a hairy mole
Leia: Yeah, but it's in the shape of Darth Vader's head
Lando: Oh no, you have a Sidious-Transmitted Disease!
Han: I need to go get checked out. See ya, babe...

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1



Han: Mine heart-strings have been plucked!, Lando's wearing a thong!

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
no1 wrote:
Leia: "This is the hand I eat pizza with."

Lando: "*snif* Mmm...yes...pepperoni and anchovies..."



Han: "How can you smell her hands without a nose?"

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1


Lando: "Here, Leia, pull my finge-- ARGH! MY BACK JUST WENT OUT!"

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1


Leia: "KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!"

Han: "Uh, wrong franchise, Princess."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 504 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff

]
Lando: //sniff sniff........ PeeeeeeeeeeeUUUUUUUUUU. Where's that hand been?

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek


Ow! Stop kicking me everytime I kiss her hand, Han!

krapposelli


quality posts: 0 Private Messages krapposelli


You say there's a diamond in this ring, huh?

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



You're right! You have a strange tattoo on your hand saying "Made in China". Wonder where that is...

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1



Lando: "You have a marvelously flat chest, my dear."

ThunderThighs


quality posts: 504 Private Messages ThunderThighs

Staff


Pull your finger? What finger? Aw heck, your hand came off!

darthv8r


quality posts: 0 Private Messages darthv8r


Ah, my butt is sore, I slept on a lego brick all of last night...

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
darthv8r wrote:
Ah, my butt is sore, I slept on a lego brick all of last night...


Lando: Ah, my butt is sore... watch, I can pull a blaster out of my butt!
Han: I think you're taking the idea of hidden cargo compartments a little too far.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

You know, some of us could make some money off this somehow...

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1



Lando: "Leia, you're quite lovely. I like a woman made of cylinders and planar geometric tiles."

Han (stern voice): "Get off my plane."

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
SkekTek wrote:You know, some of us could make some money off this somehow...



...did someone say money?


no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1



Lando: "Nice buns you got there, Leia."

Leia: //smack

Lando: "Ow! I was talking about your hair!"

Leia: "Then why are you looking down there?"

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



Lando: It's good to see you, sweetheart.

Leia: You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

[Lando falls to his knees]

Lando: Oh, please, don't kill us. Please, please don't kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault.

Leia: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.

Lando: No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

[Han covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Lando removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and Leia visibly softens]

Leia: Oh, Lando... Lando, honey...

[Lando embraces Leia and they kiss]

Lando: [to Han] Let's go.

[He drops Leia and walks off]

Han: [to Leia as he steps past her] Take it easy.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

The big pause suggests we need a new picture. VOILA!!!

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



Eww.... you smell. Take a bath.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



I HAZ NOZ CONDUM TO PROTEKT FROM UR SICK

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



This flight is really bumpy. I don't feel well...

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



I don't care what my master says, this does make me look fat.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

SkekTek wrote:The big pause suggests we need a new picture. VOILA!!!



No, I wasn't playing in the laundry. What makes you say that?

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



Miss Beasley's life continued, but she lived with the constant sadness and regret due to her inability to play sock puppets.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek


Martha was real tired after her first weekend with the new triplets. She accidentally started dressing the dog.

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



Airsick bags for pampered pooches

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



Mom! Candy the dog has been reading my Dr. Seuss books again.

KtCallista


quality posts: 32 Private Messages KtCallista


NOW my nose is warm!

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

Thanks so much Secret Santa!!

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek



Today's Alaskan Minihuskies support the Susan G Komen foundation for dog breast cancer research

KtCallista


quality posts: 32 Private Messages KtCallista



Mmmm rjkfaljafjkb amfkljaopiejamnklbnoiual yoiunop!

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

Thanks so much Secret Santa!!

GodfatherND


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GodfatherND


Oh, I thought it said insert nose!

mwiseman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mwiseman


How come the freakin' cat don't get a feed bag?

darthv8r


quality posts: 0 Private Messages darthv8r


Owner:Who's a pretty puppy? Who? Huh? Who's a pretty puppy?
Dog: Tonight when you sleep........you will DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

kenney9226


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kenney9226



I stole this bootie from kenney9226's leap year entry this week.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek


Uh oh, I think Froofie is telling us Gramps has left the bathroom door open again...

mwiseman


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mwiseman

Move over rover...let's turn the page. Heeere, No1...

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek


Let's get the obvious one out of the way: Daaaaaang... Those are niiiiiiice....

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1


Woman: "Here's a present from your men, sir."

Man: "That appears to be ribbed for your pleasure."

Woman: "Not mine, sir. Your men's. Want me to tell you which of your body parts they want me to stick it in?"