Collinp6


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Collinp6

I thought this would be a good idea for a thread, a joke thread. Having a bad day? Need a laugh? Well, you have come to the right place! Ill start us off: Why are New Yorkers always depressed? The light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey.

Collinp6


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Collinp6

Extreme bumpage.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady

It is a good idea but we already have

NEED A LAUGH!
and
Fer Laffin Out Loud: Jokestry, Ribaldry, and Irreverence


Have you seen those? Those threads are still on the I just sneezed all over myself. of EBW.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

Collinp6


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Collinp6
pooflady wrote:It is a good idea but we already have

NEED A LAUGH!
and
Fer Laffin Out Loud: Jokestry, Ribaldry, and Irreverence


Have you seen those? Those threads are still on the I just sneezed all over myself. of EBW.



Ah, didnt see those. I normally just come on here on weekends.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
Collinp6 wrote:Ah, didnt see those. I normally just come on here on weekends.



Feel free to join in. And we could use more jokes.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Pet Diaries: Dog vs. Cat...

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

------------------------------------------

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously infatuated. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

Collinp6


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Collinp6
dontwantaname wrote:Pet Diaries: Dog vs. Cat...

The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

------------------------------------------

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously infatuated. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.


Rofl. Ive saw that somewhere else before, but it always makes me crack up.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1

Ever since they found mad cow disease in the U.S., I'm not taking any chances. It can live in your body for years before it ravages your brain.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

AOL won't load for me and I get my clean, usually bad, jokes in an email.
So, I can't post anymore until it is fixed
Anyone else still use aol for email and can't get onto the site?

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1

I guess Roy (from Siegfried and Roy) isn't doing as well as they first thought... He was attacked by his own tiger and suffered devastating injuries.

zea3


quality posts: 0 Private Messages zea3

FYI

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1

Did you guys hear about that train explosion in North Korea? ... The media is so sensitive there; so secretive. We may never know how many people perished.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
no1 wrote:Did you guys hear about that train explosion in North Korea? ... The media is so sensitive there; so secretive. We may never know how many people perished.



Why did you post this in the joke thread?



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
pooflady wrote:Why did you post this in the joke thread?



Lady Poof,

Gee, they sure seemed funny the first time I heard these lines.

You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer.

Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you, "Debbie, Please!"
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!


edit: streaming media are blocked at work, so I can't find the video online right now.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
no1 wrote:Lady Poof,

Gee, they sure seemed funny the first time I heard these lines.

You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer.

Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you, "Debbie, Please!"
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!


edit: streaming media are blocked at work, so I can't find the video online right now.



Sorry, I had no idea where it came from.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
pooflady wrote:Sorry, I had no idea where it came from.



S'OK, Lady Poof, it wouldn't be a post from me if people didn't go like "W T F?!?"

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

pooflady wrote:Sorry, I had no idea where it came from.



Would you like to move it and I'll delete it from here?

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
dontwantaname wrote:Would you like to move it and I'll delete it from here?



Move what, Ms. Name? When you see the sketch, each of those lines is hilariously funny! Isn't this thread about laughing, fun, etc.?

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

no1 wrote:Move what, Ms. Name? When you see the sketch, each of those lines is hilariously funny! Isn't this thread about laughing, fun, etc.?



Poof's death and distruction post.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
dontwantaname wrote:Poof's death and distruction post.



Huh? Boy, there's a lot going over my head today. Maybe a nap will refresh the brain cells.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

no1 wrote:Did you guys hear about that train explosion in North Korea? ... The media is so sensitive there; so secretive. We may never know how many people perished.



This ^^^^^^

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

Tizight


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Tizight

Sarah Jessica Parker walked into a bar and the bartender asked "Why the long face?"

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1
no1 wrote:Lady Poof,

Gee, they sure seemed funny the first time I heard these lines.

You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer.

Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you, "Debbie, Please!"
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!


edit: streaming media are blocked at work, so I can't find the video online right now.



http://video.yahoo.com/watch/111272

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
no1 wrote:http://video.yahoo.com/watch/111272



Thank you. At least now I know why you posted what you did.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

pooflady wrote:Thank you. At least now I know why you posted what you did.



It wouldn't play for me.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

no1


quality posts: 7 Private Messages no1

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

no1 wrote:http://ramny.multiply.com/video/item/28



Thanks!

They should have rehearsed it more, so they wouldn't crack up. Then again, it wouldn't be anywhere near as funny if they did!

I know the ball one.
I have to watch the other one they talked about.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

selli


quality posts: 0 Private Messages selli

jqubed


quality posts: 7 Private Messages jqubed
no1 wrote:Lady Poof,

Gee, they sure seemed funny the first time I heard these lines.

You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer.

Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you, "Debbie, Please!"
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!


edit: streaming media are blocked at work, so I can't find the video online right now.



oh man, that was so funny... seemed like such a down season until then (and that was the next-to-last episode) but that seemed like it might have real promise as a recurring sketch... but in retrospect the funniest thing about it was the way they couldn't hold it together.

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