quality posts: 2 Private Messages moviewatcher
cleverett wrote:Many years ago I worked in an office that had a candy dish on the receptionist's desk. The dish was emptied several times a day by the employees, at which point it would be refilled with a random selection from many types of candy. One day I grabbed a handful of Skittles and dropped them into my shirt pocket, then went on about my day. Every few minutes I'd toss a Skittle into my mouth without thinking much about it. Eventually I hit one that was so foul that I almost spit it out in front of my coworkers. Turns out it was a stray M&M that was left in the dish from earlier in the day, and it was stealthily hiding amongst the Skittles. I actually like M&M's, but when you're expecting a Skittle and you get chocolate, it's revolting. (The totally wrong texture didn't help, either...instead of a waxy, hard-to-chew substance, the M&M cracked like an egg and flooded my mouth with creamy chocolate.)

Which brings me to my point: When you think you're putting one thing into your mouth and you get something else, it's a huge shock. You don't know what it is that you just ate, because your brain is focused on tasting one thing and then it gets something else. Yuck! And the more times you've expected chocolate and gotten raisins, the larger the aversion you would have to raisins. No wonder these people are protesting for raisins to be outlawed!

However, I do have to wonder why these raisin-haters can't distinguish the difference between a raisin and a chocolate chip. I may have been fooled by a stray M&M in a bowl of Skittles (though to be fair I never even really looked at what I was munching on), but I've never once been suckered into eating a raisin cookie thinking that it was a chocolate chip cookie; chocolate chips just do not look like raisins. Especially after having been burned countless times, apparently (as is evidenced by their rabid revulsion to raisin cookies), shouldn't some sort of self-preservation system in the brain kick in when they see a chocolate chip cookie? Shouldn't there be some intense scrutiny before they take a bite?

My theory is that these people are amongst the most extreme of chocoholics, and that their intense cacao addiction sends their brain into such a tizzy at the sight of a bespeckled cookie that it simply can't process any further visual input. While the rest of us can glance at the cookie and easily determine the not-so-secret ingredient, their sudden euphoria at scoring a fix prevents them from doing so. 0.3 seconds later, the cookie has entered their mouth...and what happens next isn't very pretty.

Of course, it's just a working theory; I haven't actually acquired the funding to conduct a double-blind study yet. Nor have I figured out how to lure this group of people into said study. I'm afraid that mentioning the word "raisin" would be a deal-breaker, and I'm worried about the ethics of not mentioning the word. I'm also quite worried about my safety.

In any case, here's hoping that this shirt will print so that these poor afflicted individuals can buy one. Perhaps seeing the slogan often enough will reprogram their synaptic responses just enough that they can avoid these unfortunate incidents. Or maybe the design will educate those around them of their plight, so that they might take pity and let them know that "hey, those are raisins." Of course, it might also lead to people putting out plates of raisin cookies in a twisted effort to get some great video for YouTube. After all, some people are just sociopaths.

OH NO! You poor thing, having your mouth unexpectedly flooded with creamy chocolate. I can only imagine the horror you have experienced.

I must say that I disagree with your making these people out as suffering from disease. That kind of philosophy runs rampant through our society and the next thing you know, there is a "Chocolate Avoidance and Compassion Act" (CACA) being pushed transparently through Congress behind closed doors, providing $50 billion in inefficient government programs at all of our expense.

Those unable to differentiate between raisins and chocolate need to take responsibility for their own actions and not act like victims of some "disease". And please, do we really need a federally funded study of "why" they can't make this distinction? I think not.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages rfinger22
dreadwood wrote:Thanks everyone Too bad I posted this so late.

Save it for the "Do-Over" Derby where you can resubmit old ones. Bet you you'll win that one.


quality posts: 3 Private Messages VonMonkey
thatrobert wrote:

  • Congratulations on winning a Best Loser Award!
  • This is not SPAM.
  • Winning a BLA does NOT mean this shirt won't print -- I'm hoping it does.
  • Your one and only gift is this crappy little badge in your shirt thread. Enjoy.
  • When I was 17, I had wrists like steel and I felt complete.

Aww, thanks Robert- I certainly didn't expect any kind of recognition on this one!


quality posts: 2 Private Messages kettes
Re: Stink Less!

Really wanted this shirt to print. Great design, anyway.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages zeejayem
Re: Stink Less!

I would have totally bought this shirt. Still want to.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages shawski7
Re: They're Watching.

I love it! Can I have one?

Helen Partridge


quality posts: 0 Private Messages shawski7

Love this!!

Helen Partridge


quality posts: 0 Private Messages narutobakasan
Re: Crowbar - Your new best friend

I WANT ONE, how to I acquire such an amazing shirt??? I'm new to this site.


quality posts: 1 Private Messages ward7299
Re: Black Coffee.

guess my six week time limit has passed; if anyone would still like this shirt, i have it over at zazzle now


quality posts: 56 Private Messages fishbiscuit5


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dalhiashelton
Re: Zombies Are Real.

How do I buy one of these shirts? Please email me at


quality posts: 36 Private Messages odysseyroc
dalhiashelton wrote:How do I buy one of these shirts? Please email me at

you should hit Uniique up at his site.


quality posts: 0 Private Messages strangwood
Re: tea!

I'm new to this shirt woot! mullarkey. Depressed that I can't buy this shirt. Do designs ever make a comeback?


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mistressabsynthe

I think once in a while they do, especially if the shirt was quite popular. I certainly hope they do for this one. I missed the initial run and would love to get my hands on this one!

strangwood wrote:I'm new to this shirt woot! mullarkey. Depressed that I can't buy this shirt. Do designs ever make a comeback?