Okay, I'll bite on this one and fully reveal my complete and utter nerdity and geekiness.
I'm thrilled to see the six core abilities, but what about comeliness (COM)? I take it this sword doesn't make you any prettier, just more forceful in personality, stronger, tougher, more agile, smarter, and more perceptive. Alas, this is a major sticking point.
Second, it should be noted that this sword, which is almost definitely a longsword, can crit on 19 or 20, depending on what edition we're calling up here (namely 3.X, where longswords and other similar bladed weapons could crit on a 19-20/x2). If this is a sword of critical hits, is it "High Crit" (denoting an extra [W} of damage on a crit per level tier of the player), that is, if we're playing 4e. And now that I think about it, do I get to rock a d12 for damage dice against a large (or larger) foe if we're going 2e? Or, for all it's showiness, does it still revolve around the ignoble d6, because we're straight out of the brown box (OD&D)?
I just want to know what kind of min/max munchkin BS I should be pulling if I'm going to rock this shirt to the Sunday gaming group. I wouldn't want to look like a dweeb or something.
Anyways, in for +1. Now let's see how many hot girls I'll get to do in the bar when I'm rocking this snazzy ensemble piece. Natural 20 baby...