Cold Blood Is Still Warm Enough
First place in Derby #40: Motherhood, with 911 votes
Hush little baby, don’t you cry
You’ll be a great big Wyrm in the blink of an eye
But ‘till that day you’re fully grown
Mama will keep you safe at home
And if you do as you are told
Mama will make sure to invest your gold
And if you learn to claw claw bite
Mama’s gonna bring you some kobolds to fight
And if you tell me you fought Conan
Mama will get your portrait on the side of a van
And if you get those dragonly urges
Mama will force the local king to hold a lottery of all available virgins
And if you always try to be a good boy
Mama’ll find a knight you can use as a toy
This shirt was designed by:
sparklzk27, who understands the problem facing single mothers today.
Young dragons need a positive role model, especially when the media
constantly glamorizes dragon stereotypes like Smaug and Tiamat and
Madonna.
Wear this shirt: when you take that photo with your three year old holding up his first fish (which you hooked before he reeled it in).
Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re on tv explaining how you dressed as a clown and ate your neighborhood. Really, we don’t need that sort of press.
This shirt tells the world:
“I Was Raised Right. Not like that guy who ate his neighborhood. Did
you hear that story? Wow. How did nobody notice? You’d think that last
guy would have caught on or something.”
We call this color:
Baby Dragon Asked For Seafood/Mama Dragon Said Maybe/So She Went On
Patrol And Brought Back To Her Son/The Finest Men In The King’s Navy
Placement: Centered
Printed Size:
3X – M: 13” x 7.56”
S – WS: 9.75” x 5.67”
Pantone Color(s): – Black C – Cool Gray 1 C – 363 C – 368 C – 7488 C – 382 C
Please check American Apparel's sizing chart for men or for women before you order. The Woot Tee, constructed by American Apparel, follows their classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
