The phoenix is a mythical bird from Arizona that dies and comes back
to life every fifty years or hundred years or whenever X-title sales
start to lag. It builds a nest out of wadded-up newspaper and Kingsford
brand charcoal and sets itself on fire. It’s a horrible, gruesome
spectacle, but you kind of have to admire its devotion to whatever
political cause inspired such an extreme protest. Onlookers ooh and aah
as the phoenix disappears with a shriek of agony, a plume of smoke, and
an aroma of extra-spicy barbecued chicken.
But wait, there’s more!
After
a pretty boring dormant period, during which basically nothing happens,
the beast is reborn, phoenix-like, from the ashes. Obviously, an
ash-pile doesn’t meet the sanitation standards you’d get in a modern
delivery room, but the fire does kill a lot of the germs, and anyway
phoenixes don’t have those kinds of hang-ups.
The phoenix’s
unique process of asexual reproduction has long fascinated biologists,
folklorists and pyromaniacs alike, and has inspired artists and writers
ranging from Chris Claremont to whoever wrote that River Phoenix movie
where his parents are spies.
Another thing about phoenixes is that there’s one on this shirt. That’s weird; how did that get there?
This shirt designed by:
theinfinityloop, who came up to us one day and said hi, I’m infinity
loop, who came up to us one day and said hi, I’m infinity loop, who
came up to us one day and said hi, I’m infinity loop, who came up to us
one day and said hi, I’m infinity loop, who came up to us one day and
said hi, I’m infinity loop, who came up to us one day and said hi, I’m
infinity loop, who came up to us one day and said hi, I’m infinity
loop, who came up to us one day and said hi, I’m infinity loop…
Wear this shirt:
for its flame-retardant properties, if you’re prone to spontaneous
combustion and regeneration at embarrassingly inopportune moments.
(Notice: Shirt has very minimal flame-retardant properties. Like, you
could smother a match with it, maybe.)
Don’t wear this shirt: in Flagstaff.
This shirt says: “At night I wake up with my sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head.”
We call this color: Really Dark Phoenix, Like Black Phoenix
Design Placement: Centered
Design Size:
3X – S: 14.03” x 19”
WXL - K4: 9.6” x 13”
Pantone Color(s): 1365C – 1645C – 7526C – 497C – 2718C – 653C
Please check American Apparel's sizing chart for men, for women or children before you order. The Woot Tee, constructed by American Apparel, follows their classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
