Shirt.Woot : One Shirt, No Shoes, No Service (SM)

Big Love

The Affair That Destroyed San Francisco

Ah, it’s that time of year. Birds are singing, trees are budding, and a young monster’s fancy turns to thought of gettin’ it on. Yes, love is in the air.

What is it about springtime? The Earth wakes from her winterlong slumber, flowers push up out of the soil, and prehistoric mutant reptiles stir from their ocean-trench beds. Young people shed their cold-weather outerwear, exposing long-obscured sections of their skin to the sun, and strut through the streets in a mating season display, rousing dormant libidos as they parade.

Yeah, that’s one sure sign of spring: rampaging hormones.

Wear this shirt: while running right at the camera, screaming.

Don’t wear this shirt: in major cities that have been attacked by radioactive megafauna in the past ten years (TOO SOON).

This shirt tells the world: “I heart BBWs”

We call this color: Black Is The Color Of My True Love’s Fur

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Caught By A Falling Star

3rd place in Derby #137: Luck, with 739 votes!

I’ve been sounding the alarm for years: please, people, stop idolizing, romanticizing, and anthropomorphizing stars. They’re pitiless balls of flaming gas who would incinerate your entire species without a second thought. Or even a first thought. Giving them cute little faces? Singing them cute little songs? Using their name to honor the best cute little athletes? It’s a recipe for planetary suicide.

Stars may be necessary, but we must never relax our vigilance against them. They have their place, and it’s at least a few light years away. And whatever you do, never trust one with your social security number or Woot login info. Proxima Centauri is such a hotbed of identity theft, we won’t even ship there.

Wear this shirt: to share a hearty chuckle about the agonizing deaths of millions of living creatures.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the Cretaceous Period. Spoilers!!!

This shirt tells the world: “Live by the twinkle, die by the twinkle.”

We call this color: Blaxtinction.

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Ain't no party like a Nevermore party 'cause a Nevermore party don't stop! Seriously. It just goes on and on to the point where you start saying, "No, man, I just want to sleep in my own bed. I'll be fine. We can hang out tomorrow or something. Just let me go home." So while the raven stays in the mix forever more some other shirts are looking due for a hasty exit as they sit in the danger zone. You can help decide their fates by heading over to our Reckoning page and purchasing your favorites to try and keep them safe before the axe falls Monday. Don't forget to check out the Derby page, either. Your vote can mean the difference between that super awesome design you like (because you have great taste) getting printed and that stupid ugly one any self-respecting shirt wearer would never buy.

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“Aaaaah! Run for your li- Hey, a penny!”

2nd place in Derby #137: Luck, with 742 votes!

Roger? ROGER! What are you DOING?! The city is burning to the ground, we’ve got to get out of here! A PENNY?! Are you serious? That doesn’t change anything, Roger! A penny is not going to have any effect on the events unfolding here in the year 2012! I honestly think, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t change much.

Why are we even debating this?!

We have to get to that airfield so we can fly to China and try and sneak aboard those arks before they seal shut to endure the oncoming floods and earthquakes! To say nothing of the monsters and robots kicking around here.

Roger, we’ve got to leave before the fires- Hey, does the smoke seem like it’s clearing a little?

No, I’m sure it’s not related to the penny! That doesn't make any sense!

Wear this shirt: To the casino. Might as well put it to the test.

Don’t wear this shirt: During the apocalypse. You’ll probably want something with a little more protection.

This shirt tells the world: “Luck? Optimism? I don’t care to learn the difference.”

We call this color: It happens completely by Asphaltident

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In the upcoming year, our resolution is to get to know our community a little better. What you like, what you dislike, who you are. We've learned from talking to you, there's a lot to enjoy by meeting our community!

Two people in love is a beautiful thing. Two people entering into the tragic mistake holy sacrament of marriage is practically unbeatable. Which is why it was so noteworthy when forums member LuminousSpecter decided to propose to forums member socialhazardforhim on the set of the upcoming Narnia movie, Voyage Of The Dawn Treader. And as if that wasn't special enough, the couple were both wearing our shirts!

That's right, whatever happens from now on, we're responsible. We'll have ten questions with LuminousSpecter, a.k.a. Paul, right after the jump…

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Oh, Like You Haven’t Thought About Doing It

This is a much better idea than when I tried to get all those rabbit’s feet. Less messy, too.

I’ve tried everything. I shoved pepper up my nose until I sneezed three time before breakfast. I’ve picked up enough pennies to buy 157 items from a drive-thru dollar menu. I’ve ruined countless tablecloths spilling wine during toasts. I’ve even starting raising lady bugs in my backyard just to make sure that one lands on me every single day. And I don’t even want to get into how much neck pain I’ve given myself trying to look at the new moon over my right shoulder.

But this? This is my finest moment. Look out, Las Vegas. Mr. Lucky McLuckyperson is gonna take you by storm.

Wear this shirt: after a plush black cat has crossed your path.

Don’t wear this shirt: while watching the movie Leprechaun or any of its unnecessary sequels.

This shirt tells the world: “Hokey superstitions and ancient shillelaghs are no match for a good tape dispenser at your side, kid.”

We call this color: Bobby O’Brown

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Trendy mall stores have made it impossible to tell the difference between someone who is actually a fan of a band and someone who just spent $30 on a Ramones shirt because that one guy on that one show wore one. Since we need new, avant-garde ways of showing our disdain for those slightly behind the zeitgeist bell curve, use this week's theme to craft shirt designs based on, inspired by, and reinterpreting the names of famous bands. You can go for the obvious take (guy with a radio where his head should be?) or the slightly more obscure (a single-engine high altitude reconnaissance plane?), but the shirt should focus on the name entirely. And while we're not going to judge your taste in music (Mayor named John?), we are going to question the validity of any band that can only be found via some obscure myspace page with 10 friends. Keep it real, yo. That means:

No copyrighted imagery. If the band already did it, we don't want to see it again.

No videogame references.

No bunnies.

No text.

-Edits, for clarification:-

No celebrity likeness, either. You're reinvisioning the band NAME, not showing us the band.

Band names, not performer names.

Derby #137: Luck closed for voting at noon today. Three of these designs will go on sale one at a time over the next three days - the rest will go down in near-miss history. Click on each picture below to see that entry's page, with a fuller view of the design. The final nine, in no particular order...

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You guys! I’ve got a great idea!

Oh, wait. Lost it. Dang.

I guess we should be glad that inventions really don’t grow on trees. I mean, if all you had to do was water and feed a tree with idea after idea, day after day, to produce the next world changing device, everybody would be running around with things like High Jump Boots and Freeze Rays and stuff. It’s certainly make all the time I’ve spent working on a weather machine with which to bring the world’s populace to its knees until they had crowned me Planetary Ruler all for not.

Come to think of it, now I kinda wish inventions DID grow on trees. Mwa ha.

Wear this shirt: when your struggling for your next great idea.

Don’t wear this shirt: if robotic birds have freaked you out ever since you first watched Clash Of The Titans.

This shirt tells the world: “The Tree Of Invention must be refreshed from time to time with the ideas of SCIENCE.”

We call this color: Necessity Is The Mother Of Grass

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It goes by too fast to be much of use as a lesson. But this time-lapse screen-capture video of the making of a book cover design is still a fascinating look over the shoulder of a pro designer. And although it took six hours to make the design, watching the video will only cost you two minutes.

(As seen at BoingBoing.)

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