1st Place in Derby #329: Emoticons and Emojis, with 201 votes
"Do you know how Sarah's doing?"
"No, why? Is anything wrong?"
"I'm not sure, but have you seen her emojis lately? They've been so dark and brooding."
"I guess I … haven't. But she always uses a lot of emojis."
"Yes, you're right, but the timbre of her recent texts have bespoken a deep longing. Perhaps an eternal sadness."
"Looks like the last thing she sent me was … a top hat … some kind of wavey icon that doesn't make any sense … and that Easter Island statue thing."
"EXACTLY. She's 'tipping her cap' to the great achievements of humanity, aware that her memory shall fade soon after her death."
"I think you might be reading a bit into it."
"That's EXACTLY what I'm doing. Emojis are ONLY meaningful insofar as they make an impression on the reader. As Samuel Johnson said, 'The duty of criticism is neither to depreciate nor dignify by partial representations, but to hold out the light of reason, whatever it may discover; and to promulgate the determinations of truth, whatever she shall dictate.'"
"You might be reading into it a little too much. I think they're just some random emojis."
"No! I'm sending her a worried face followed by the graph showing the Yen gaining on the dollar to show how much I care."