a simple question of weight ratios

by Wootbot

I’m Never Going To Win The Science Fair Now

1st place in Derby #158: Physics, with 1131 votes!

How am I supposed to get a blue ribbon on this project if these stupid swallows keep dying on me? If one’s not croakin’ from exhaustion, another one’s being crushed under the weight of the coconut! I’ve been through thirty of the things and all I’ve proven is that a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times per second. Ugh. At this rate, Jimmy McGillicuddy’s stupid time-traveling car experiment is going to win for sure. I guess I can kiss Harvard goodbye.

Hmm. Maybe I can convince that guy at the pet shop that he sold me dead swallows. There no reason this project has to be a total loss.

Wear this shirt: on the count of three. No more, no less.

Don’t wear this shirt: on the count of four, nor on the count of two, unless you are then proceeding to three. Five is right out.

This shirt tells the world: “Sure, an African swallow could do it. But then, of course, African swallows are non-migratory.”

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 12” x 5.57”
WXL - K4: 9” x 4.17”

Pantone Colors:  7401C - 155C - 7509C - 7510C - 154C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.