A True Player

by wootbot

Role-Playing Reflects Reality

Play "Hometown," the only RPG where you play yourself going back home for the holidays! 

"You walk into your hometown after many years of absence. Rain pelts the dark streets, soaking you."

"I look for a local tavern."

"You roam the streets, searching for a pub or inn. But it is 2am and all the bars are closed. You forgot they close so early in Massachusetts."

"Oh right. OK, I go to "Tonic" -- that place is always open."

"You enter "Tonic" to the blasting notes of reggaeton. Stoli Vanilla and Jaegermeister line the bar, and a few patrons huddle in the dark corners away from the empty dance floor."

"I approach one of the patrons and ask for news."

"You strike up a conversation with a local nursing a Budweiser Platinum. Soon you recognize the time-ravaged face of that of your former classmate, Mike Hauge."

"Mike Hauge?? I hated that guy."

"'Ditmer!' he cries, tapping you playfully on the crotch…"

"Oh God, he did do that. I hated that."

"'Mr. fancy-pants city-boy is finally back in Lowell, huh?' he asks."

"Ugh. I don't want to talk to this meathead. I walk away."

"Mike calls after you, questioning both your masculinity and sexual persuasion."

"That's it. This guy needs to learn a lesson. I attack him."

"Roll a d20."


"You swing with your fist and land a shattering blow, knocking Mike unconscious. The police are called and you are arrested for assault."

"Crap. I hate this role-playing game."