Alternative energies

by wootbot

Press Conference

3rd place in Derby #288: Mad Science, Guest Editor Anna-Maria Jung's pick.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press. We are here to announce that after extensive research and years of development, we have produced the world's first alternative-fuel spacecraft. This obviously has vast implications for the US space program, as it greatly reduces the pollution generated as well as materials required for sending a rocket into space.

Simply put, a small pellet of gelatin and gum arabic is fired into an atomic slurry of potassium benzoate, aspartame, and carbon dioxide. The resulting chemical reaction catalyzes the release of the suspended carbon dioxide, causing rapid expansion and thus expulsion of foam, propelling the attached rocket in the opposite direction.

This might appear frivolous to the average person, but we'd like to remind you all that our budget's been cut six ways from Sunday, so what the hell do you expect us to be working on?