Always Picked Last

by wootbot

Maybe "Athletic" Is Overstating It

OK, I'm ready to get into the spirit of this "soccer" thing! I'll just think of it as chess with an inflated bladder!

Perhaps if I learn to appreciate these "sports" on the level of strategy and tactics, I can finally relate to the others. Once I master the basic rules and moves and so forth, I'm sure I'll find a whole new level of intellectual engagement every bit as engrossing as my tabletop simulation of the Napoleonic campaigns. I'll develop a keener appreciation for the various skills involved in the game, and learn to appreciate complex feats of physical acumen as much as I appreciate an elegant mathematical equation. A new era for me starts today, with my embrace of the world athletic, the rugged sphere of physical competi-

What? THAT'S the field? I'm supposed to run up and down THAT for 90 minutes? Sigh... I'll be over here reading. Again.