Astral Ark

by Wootbot

Come Sail Away

2nd place in Derby #233: Things That Start With The Letter A, with 618 votes!

It was the greatest discovery the inhabitants of the Vega system had ever made in recorded history. It was also their saddest.

No one could fathom was how a vessel that seemed to have been built so flawlessly and contained all the tools needed for sustaining a perfect ecosystem could have failed so utterly. Every living thing that had been aboard the strange vessel had died and there was little evidence as to why.

Theories abounded, certainly. There was a lot of evidence showing that the ship had been hit by several asteroids at different points in time. Perhaps one of those caused a critical system to cease functioning. There were also signs that several disasters natural to the growth and maintenance of the ship that had occurred, but nothing so incredible to wipe out all of its inhabitants. There were many that agreed that the most plausible cause concerned one of the primate species running rampant throughout the ship, but some dismissed the theory as absurd. After all, this was the same species that was believed to have built so many wondrous things, created astounding works of art and literature, and even fashioned a primitive technological network that could hold all of their knowledge and culture! Could a people like this be so foul, so gluttonous, and so ignorant of how their vessel worked that they were simply unable to prevent their own end? Surely not.

The oddest discovery, however, was that of several billion video recordings of some of the smaller feline inhabitants. Whether that was a contributing factor to the demise of all aboard is hard to say.

Wear this shirt: while remembering what an awesome guy Carl Sagan was.

Don’t wear this shirt: if the idea of us floating aimlessly through the universe scares you to death.

This shirt tells the world:Ladies and Gentlemen, we are floating in space.”

We call this color: The Black Sea Of The Cosmos


Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 15” x 16.9”
WXL - WS: 11.25” x 12.67”
K12 - K4: 9” x 10.14”

Pantone Color(s): 7464C - 231C - 7404C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.