A window into the past!
Back in my day, we didn't have none of them video games. We put three chickpeas in a circle drawn in the dirt and eagerly waited for them to start fighting until our parents called us in for dinner.
Back in my day, if people wanted your picture, they made you stand completely still like that forever. Or until they got tired of how you smelled and let you go.
Back in my day, they made paint out of crushed butterflies. That means the only color you could paint a wall was a kind of nasty brown because butterflies don't crush into the color of their wings.
Back in my day, the future was strictly defined as "not next Tuesday, but the Tuesday after that." There was none of this vague "any time after now" crap.
Wear this shirt: when you're talking about how much better the Game Gear was than the Nintendo DS.
Don't wear this shirt: if you ever say things like, "I'm so glad they stopped using puppets like in the old Ninja Turtles movies and started replacing everything CGI!"
This shirt tells the world: "I'm young enough to still think being old is fun!"
We call this color: asphalt? Back in my day, we just called it "rocks stuck together."