Let them eat, crow
Wear this shirt: to warn others about the perils of leaving your pumpkin outside indefinitely.
Don't wear this shirt: around anyone who has recently lost a beloved jack-o-lantern.
Launder this shirt when: it gets all soft and mushy on the outside.
This shirt grants you the power of: Odin's ravens. Or is that a crow? Any ornithologists in the audience?
Fired out of a t-shirt cannon, this design would sound like: this