COMPOSE!

by wootbot

Nemesisterhood Of The Fancy Velvet Pants

Do you have the time and energy it takes to foster a life-long feud? 

So you're thinking about getting a nemesis. That's great! Nemeses can be valuable, life-long companions. But they're not for everyone -- they require a lot of commitment and attention. So before running out and picking a nemesis, make sure you're ready.

First, don't get a nemesis who is the world's greatest at whatever you are going to compete over. A lot of people think they're up to the competition, but losing to your nemesis time after time after time can be awfully dispiriting. Pick an opponent who's at your level or just below.

Second, make sure your nemesis isn't actually a long-lost close relation. You don't want to get halfway through your nemesisdom, only to have one of those embarrassing Luke Skywalker or Oedipus moments. Do your research!

Finally, it's usually smart to pick out a lifelong enemy who is the same sex as yourself. Why? Because you'll almost certainly end up kissing them at the height of your conflict, and that spoils everything.

If you've thought long and hard about it, and still think you're ready: Congratulations! You're about to embark on a lifelong adventure of emnity!