Don't Count Your Sheep-Counting Sheep Until They're Sheeped
1st place in Derby #282: Sleeeeeeeep, with 418 votes!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen of the press. I thank you for coming on such ambiguous grounds, but I believe by the end of this press conference you will understand the importance of discretion in this matter. For I am to here reveal a monument of genetics and animal husbandry the likes of which the world has never seen. Ladies and gentlemen: The Arithmetic Sheep.
They said that sheep were the least intelligent of all farm animals, but I knew there was a glimmer of intelligence in their wool-covered heads. So through a complex breeding and genetic isolation program, I bred for brainpower until I had achieved a paragon of ovine smarts.
See here as this ewe counts the number of sheep in its pen. So magnificent is her intelligence that she is able to perform her arithmetic on a Japanese-style abacus, which…
Wait, Florence, why are you counting on an abacus, darling? There are only three sheep in there with you. THREE! Don't look at me with those eyes. You have disappointed me, Florence. You have disappointed the world. Oh! What a sad little mad sheep breeder am I.