Creativity is Dangerous
2nd place in Derby #268: Crosshatch Rehash, Editors' Choice.
Congratulations, creative people! With each story you write, each painting you paint, each website you design, you are successfully KILLING THE PLANET!
That's right! A brain working on creative stuff will EMIT TOXIC GASES INTO THE ENVIRONMENT, gasses filled with things such as WEIRD IDEAS and POOR NUTRITIONAL CHOICES and DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!
Obviously, creative people are already POISONED by this stuff, but that doesn't mean you have to be too. No. If you see someone acting creative (red flags: humming, talking, solving problems, telling jokes, thinking), do the smart thing: RUN! AND DON'T BREATH!
Wear this shirt: into the internet!
Don't wear this shirt: to your job as a stenographer.
This shirt tells the world: "I'm making thought rivers all day!"
We call this color: I'm the most creative guy a-brown-d!