Really THINK about it
3rd Place in Derby #264: Your Third and Final Wish, Guest Editor Drakxxx's Pick!
10:10:45.7 PM (PDT): NASA's Curiosity Rover enters the Martian atmosphere.
10:15:04.9 PM: Parachutes deploy, slowing the module's descent.
10:15:24.6 PM: Heat Shield Separation.
10:17:38.6 PM: Rover Separates from Descent Module.
10:17:57.3 PM: Touchdown on Martian Surface.
11:52:06.5 PM: Secondary Rover, Duquesne, deployed.
01:22:31.6 AM: Curiosity Rover cameras activated, detailing panoramic views of Martian topography while carefully avoiding the tracks left by Duquesne.
05:38:20.1 AM: Duquesne arrives at its destination, an artifact of seemingly natural construction which, 22 years ago, began emitting regular pulses of gamma radiation. Curiosity continues photographing the landscape, itself, and Martian skyline while transmitting these images back to Earth.
7:15:58.8 PM: After exhaustive mapping and exploration of the artifact, Duquesne's operators locate what they believe to be an entrance.
7:41:22.0 PM: After deliberation on Earth, Duquesne is approved to enter the artifact.
7:56:09.5 PM: Duquesne operators report they are approximately 15 meters inside the artifact. Curiosity transmits an image of a rocky outcropping to Earth.
8:02:31.1 PM: Duquesne's sensors record an enormous infrasonic blast. Its cameras are periodically disabled. Operator [REDACTED] throws off her headset and reports significant ocular and aural discomfort. Operator [REDACTED] is relieved of duty. Curiosity appears unaffected.
8:14:06.3 PM: After repeated attempts at repair, Duquesne's cameras come back online, although at diminished capacity. Operators report the rover seems stuck or entangled with some object prohibiting movement.
8:45:09.8 PM: Operator [REDACTED] is also relieved of duty after becoming hysterical and claiming to see "Shadows moving. Like snakes slithering in the air." Curiosity collects a soil sample.
9:00:00.0 PM: All personnel in control room report observing two glowing spheres on Duquesne monitors. Project Leader [REDACTED] is relieved of duty after insisting they are "the eyes of God come to judge us all."
9:00:45.1 PM: Operator [REDACTED], in Med Station 4 due to recurring ocular and auditory pain after exposure to infrasonic blast, attacks medical personnel, killing Doctors [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED] and severely injuring Security Detail Corporal [REDACTED] before being restrained and transferred to the brig.
12:00:00.0 AM: A substantial energy discharge of unknown origin and composition erupts from the Martian atmosphere. Initial trajectories indicate it will impact Earth in approximately 14 days. Rover Duquesne goes dark. Curiosity remains unaffected.
12:02:16.4 AM: Operator [REDACTED]'s restraints are increased due to self-inflicted injury caused by further hallucination. She is treated for severe ocular trauma. Dr. [REDACTED] reports that the patient appears to have removed and consumed both of her eyes.
12:00:00.0 PM: Operator [REDACTED] regains consciousness and begins chanting rhythmically in an unknown language. Attending physician records the words as, roughly, "Cthulhu Fthagn." Patient refuses to stop and will not eat or drink. Intravenous fluids are administered. Curiosity transmits a photo of a Martian sunset.
Wear this shirt: In support of SCIENCE!
Don't wear this shirt: Unless you're a little sky-curious.
This shirt tells the world: We can land the equivalent of a Honda Fit on Mars but they can't keep raccoons from shorting out the power lines every other week.
We call this color: ONavyus Mons