Death Cares About Life

by wootbot

Ashes To Ashes, Topsoil to Topsoil

1st Place in Derby #309: Balance, with 247 votes!

A lot of people ask me, "Why do you hate life so much?" But these people don't understand: I love life! If it weren't for life, I wouldn't have anything to reap with my scythe of eternal darkness. 

That's why I'm always encouraging others to pursue horticulture, animal husbandry, and parenthood. Because everything living must someday die, and that's where I come in! 

Awwww, look at that: a litter of fox kits. Isn't it a miracle that only one of them will survive to adulthood, and even that one will one day wither beneath the ravages of time?  

There are hidden bits of life that need extinguishing all over the place. You want a squirt of Purell? It will kill a hundred thousand microbes in a few seconds. Ahhhhhhhh. I love their little screams.