2nd Place in Derby #318: Office Life, with 170 votes!
Oh sure, you all drink your coffee and think you're so cool. You grind the beans, and run the hot water through 'em, and pour it out into your mug, and then you all nod your mugs to each other as if you're so cool, as if you're in some exclusive club.
But, oh then I walk in with my mug of baked beans with bacon - pretty much the SAME THING as coffee, except different beans prepared in a different way - and everyone looks at me like I'm weirdo, like I don't belong. I swear, you people sure know how to make a guy feel comfortable. NOT! Next thing, you'll be claiming it makes you nervous when I wear my full set of medieval armor on Casual Fridays.