"Hello Mrs. Adams, how are you today?"
I'm fine, I'm fine, but I'm worried about my little creature.
"Let's see … 'Sam' is this little guy's name? That's cute. What seems to be the problem with Sam?"
He hasn't been eating his food, and it's been several days now.
"Have you recently switched his diet? Sometimes they can be particular about those things."
Well, yes, I did start feeding him wet food.
"That's probably it. You need to introduce the new diet slowly, so his digestion can adapt to it."
Oh thank goodness. I was worried he might have diabetes or something. I know so many indoor ones do.
"Well, from the look of him maybe it would be worth running some tests…"
UGH. STOP TALKING ABOUT ME IN THE THIRD PERSON, MOM. I'M RIGHT HERE.
Sorry, honey. I'm just trying to look out for you.
"Would you mind holding him down so he doesn't scratch me, Mrs. Adams?"