Grumpy Unicorn

by wootbot

Depressed Weather Reporter

3rd Place in Derby #352: Grumpy, with 240 votes!

And now for the weather, Danny "The Downer" Davies. Take it away, Danny.

Wednesday afternoon, we're looking at rain in the morning, so you better go out and spend way too much money a piece of some waterproof fabric. Sun's supposed to come up around noon, but don't get too excited to be dry, because you'll be soaked with sweat from your non-breathing slicker.

Thursday expect overcast skies early on with the sun breaking through. So you'll spend all afternoon waiting for your eyes to adjust. That is if you have slow-adjusting eyes disease like I do.

Friday it's supposed to be breezy and humid. My wedding day was breezy. So were my second and third wedding days. I don't have good luck with breezes. Nor with humidity. It was humid for my fourth, fifth, and sixth weddings. Love escapes me.

Saturday and Sunday also have some weather, but why bother reporting since you'll just spend all day sleeping alone. Or wait, maybe that's just me. Anyway, that's your weather.

Thanks, Danny!