Hamster of Dooom

by wootbot

Cage Match

Inside the fascinating social lives of hamsters

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Oh, hey"

"Oh, hi there."

"Hi."

"Whatcha doing?"

"Smelling."

"OK."

"Eating."

"Cool."

"Chewing up Kleenex to make a nest for myself."

"Awesome."

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Oh, hi."

"Hi, I remember you. Ummmm, I'm just, you know, going to go over here and -- ow."

"What?"

"I donno. I ran into something invisible when I tried to run over there. Maybe if I try again -- ow."

"I'm gonna run."

"OK."

"On this thing."

SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK

"OK, done running, what next?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Do I remember you? Let me smell you. Oh yeah, you're my brother. OK."

"Want to curl up with me while I sleep?"

"Sure, will it be warm?"

"Yeah."

"Do you smell something in here?"

"Wood chips?"

"Yeah!"

"Urine?"

"Yeah!"

"Who are you? Let me smell you."

Wear this shirt: despite its depiction of massive loss of life.

Don't wear this shirt: when it starts smelling like hamster.

This shirt tells the world: "Soon you shall be crushed under my iron paw!"

We call this color: Nate Silver Should Have Warned Us About This