Horror Film

by Wootbot

We need a new Batman villain.

I don’t know if this “Celluloid Terror” guy is going to work out.

Have you seen the new issue? Yeah, no the inking’s fine. That’s not what I was worried about. It’s this guy: Celluloid Terror. Is this really your best idea? I mean, I don’t know how this got by the editors:

Lincoln Williams was a struggling movie theater projectionist until one day his experiment with a new type of film made from radioactive isotopes bonded his cellular structure with the film itself! Calling himself the Celluloid Terror, he now blames Batman for his condition and wreaks havoc on Gotham City.

Are you even serious?

Look, we’ve already had a guy named Film Freak, and he was terrible. We’ve had like, I don’t know, 18 Clayfaces, so we’ve got the “amorphous blob monster” angle covered. This guy sucks. He doesn’t even get a cool fight. He just chases Batman outside into the sun and accidentally overexposes.

Honestly, this guy could get whipped with just a lighter.

Well, I just think something a little fresher would do us some good. Maybe we need another dimension or something. Well YOU’RE the writer, you come up with something! Have we used The Fearsome Foot Fighters lately?

Fine. But I want this issue retconned next month.

Wear this shirt: In a dark room with flickering light and a soft whirring noise.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re in a monster movie. Movie monsters love ironic death.

This shirt tells the world: The book was better.

We call this color: Blockbuster Brown

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