I'm a Linguist

by wootbot

The Nichomeowchean Ethics

The philosophy of cats may seem complicated, but it's pretty straightforward. 

Every action and pursuit is thought to aim for some good. But many of these actions produce ends that are themselves good only as ends to other actions; such as the pursuit of a mouse is meant to lead to the eating of a mouse, which leads to satiety, and so on. 

If then, there is some highest good to which all these actions lead, that would be the chief good, and is the purpose of our study. And the red dot appears to be of its nature, for it is the goal to which all others lead. The good life can thus be said to be that which directs our actions and thoughts toward capture of the red dot. 

What do we mean by the red dot? For by being a form rather than a worldly object, it may remain outside the realm of direct understanding. Yet it is that which all good actions lead, and must therefore exist; and because all that exists can be studied, the red dot must be capable of study. 

Many wise cats have claimed that the red dot…wait…it's in this room right now. OVER THERE! Hey! Whoa! Right under me! OK, I think I'm gonna catch it -- THIS TIME I GOT YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh wait, it's not under my paw? How did it get out? Gotcha! No. Aha! Drat. 

What was I talking about?