2nd Place in Derby #328: Food, with 192 votes
We just want to make it clear that we do not condone cannibalism in any form: between humans, between animals, between baked goods, not even between coworkers.
We have a stern anti-cannibalism policy here at Woot. If we catch an employee engaging in an act of cannibalism one time, we take away his Youtube privileges. If we catch an employee engaging in an act of cannibalism a second time we make him complete an online training seminar. Third time, we give him a paid leave of two weeks to think about what he's done. Fourth time, we all make passive aggressive comments about how cannibalism is lame. Fifth time, it's a soft firing; the cannibal can be fired but only if he wants to be. Sixth time, the cannibal gets rehired. Seventh time, we fire him for real, at which point he can re-apply.
See! Stern as can be!