Keepers of the Shrubbery

by wootbot

My Middle Name Was Almost Neee-wom

3rd place in Derby #290: New Secret Societies, Editor's Choice!

Yes, it's my real name. My parents didn't watch a lot of TV, and Monty was my Grandpa's name on my Mom's side. So yeah, when she married Herman Python and they had their first son, neither of them thought twice about it.

Of course it's annoying, when I'm at the bank or the doctor or something and somebody sees my name on a form and they think it's hilarious. I've had an unlisted phone number for my entire adult life. And college, man, college was hell. I couldn't finish my sophomore year. The best thing about it is, I go to a lot of fan conventions, all expenses paid. Unfortunately, that's also the worst thing about it.