Kitchen Warfare
Someone get Gordon Ramsay on the phone.
Tonight, on Kitchen Deathmatch: the contestants fight for survival. Literally.
Right. Welcome then, everyone, to Kitchen Deathmatch. I am of course, Gordon Ramsay, famous in England for being a celebrity chef and famous here in the states, of course, for yelling and screaming at people.
“I just want to say it’s an honor to meet y-”
OH SHUT IT, YOU DAFT &*$! WHAT THE %x%x$^ DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING HERE, ANYWAY?! THIS IS A KITCHEN, NOT A BLOODY FLOP HOUSE! GET OUT! YOU LOSE ALREADY! LEAVE!
The contestant exits as a man from the Food Network hands Gordon his royalty check. The memo field reads: “cussin’ real good.”
Right then. Tonight we’ve got a special challenge for you all. Right now we have 24 aspiring chefs-
“23. You just kicked out Jamie.”
OH WHO THE *&%^ ARE YOU TO INTERRUPT ME, YOU WANKER?! GET OUT!
Right. So we have 22 of you aspiring chefs, and tonight we’ll be testing your knowledge of the kitchen. Each of you has a station with various cooking implements. Once I announce the timer has started, you’ll begin. Now I want you to take your time, because we’ll be whittling the field down to a single winner here, tonight.
“But what are we supposed to cook? Is there a recipe to follow or a theme?”
Cook? The goal is to SURVIVE, #$@%! I’m Gordon Ramsay, and I demand BLOOD! Now go! Kill, my pretties! KILL!
Wear this shirt: To your first cooking class at the community college.
Don’t wear this shirt: Once you’ve spilled canned ravioli all over the front of it.
This shirt tells the world: “REAL foodies don’t give a crap about telling everyone around them about their stupid food blog.”
We call this color: Needs just a touch more Olive
Design Placement: Centered
Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 16.41”
WXL - K4: 9” x 11.36”
Pantone Color(s): Black
Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.
