Where are you looking, weirdo?
Oh, sorry there, Snail. I know it probably looks like I'm ogling you but I'm not. I simply was looking past you, at a detail over your shoulder. No, don't turn and look. It's gone, but it was certainly there.
Don't worry about what it was. Just know that it was there and that I wasn't staring at your perfectly round firm shell, spiraling further and further down like some sort of infinite staircase that I could get lost on forever. And I sure wouldn't have been looking at your soft neck, extending out of your shell towards me as if your face is reaching out to meet mine. And of course, I wouldn't be looking at the long, glistening trail you left behind, the only bit of you that will remain when you go from here.
So, yeah. I was just looking at… something else.