The Original 151
3rd place in Derby #268: Crosshatch Rehash, Guest Editor kevlar51's pick!
In my day we had two games: Red and Blue. You picked one and that was it. Sure, you had a link cable and the prospect of trading a friend, but that would've required friends. And back then tiny Japanese monsters you capture in the grass and force into a life of servitude and warfare made sense. A Squirtle looked like a turtle, dammit. Nowadays you've got 649 of the little pieces of crap and none of them make a lick of sense!
Look at this one. It's an owl, but it's a tree. How's that make any damn sense whatsoever? Birds and plants can't reproduce together. How would this hybridization occur? What does it eat? How does it fly if it's made of wood? This thing creates more questions than it answers.
I'll stick to good ol' Red. A Charmander is something I can understand.
Wear this shirt: In the forest.
Don't wear this shirt: To the aviary.
This shirt tells the world: "Owltree. It's a thing."
We call this color: By the silver light of the moon.