I am Doughlactus, Devourer Of Cookie Worlds.
Lose weight fast by not committing genocide.
If you’re like me, you’ll just keep eating baked goods until they’re gone, leaving nothing but a few crumbs and a sea of regret. That’s why I invented this revolutionary diet: Every time you see a cookie, imagine it holds an entire civilization, and you will wipe it out entirely if you eat it. You’ll only end up eating a couple cookies before guilt overwhelms you!
Take this snickerdoodle. Imagine all these little crevices are really fertile valleys, filled with industrious little farmers. They extract the cinnamon to built their tiny little houses, see? Now...oh man...this smells amazing. MMF OM OM OM MFFMOM SMACK SMACK MMMMMM.
Oh, the humanity! All those lives lost in a single bite! What a monster am I, that my appetite should overwhelm my most fundamental sense of empathy? What evil have I wrought simply because of the...buttery...delicious...sweet...OM OM OMOM *CRIES* OM OM OM I'm so sorry! MMMFF OM OM.
Wear this shirt: To your cookiography class.
Don't wear this shirt: Near any blue monsters, or they'll rip out your heart.
This shirt tells the world: "I've circumsnackivated."
We call this color: 'Cookies and creme' is the obvious name so that's what we're going with.