About the Night
2nd place in Derby #281: Things That Start With the Letter N, Editor's Choice.
What are the Northern Lights? Nobody knows for sure. But there are theories.
Theory #1: the Northern Lights are just clouds of brightly colored insects looking down on us and conspiring.
Theory #2: the Northern Lights are the exhaust of spaceships that the government DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!
Theory #3: the Northern Lights are the atmosphere's skin sheddings.
Theory #4: the Northern Lights are what happens when the sun reflects off the moon's flatulence.
Theory #5: there are no Northern Lights; what we believe to be the Northern Lights is actually just a highly contagious but benign eye disease.
Wear this shirt: during the day to remind you of the night.
Don't wear this shirt: in the pitch dark. What's the point if no one can see it?!
This shirt tells the world: "I was into sky fall before Skyfall."
We call this color: black, interrupted.