Oh My Gods!

by wootbot

God Awful

You say Poseidon, I say Neptune...

Zeus looked over smoldering Troy,
Weeping for noble Priam, her king.
"My son by Electra, slain before me.
What curse is man, that he should slaughter so?"
Hera, his wife, overheard Zeus, and interjected,
"But wait, Jupiter, you sought a fallen Troy,
To punish Paris for his god-like o'erreaching."
Zeus heard her, and wheeled in anger.
"Am I Zeus or Jupiter in this one?
If I be Zeus, I'm pretty sure you're Juno
Or is it Hera/Zeus? I can never keep this straight."

Suddenly, Mercury (or Hermes?) burst into the hall,
Alight on winged boots. Or a winged hat. Or something.
"Hear me!" the god cried, "Aeneas hath escaped Troy,
His father Anchises on his back, Alas.
I fear to bear this news to Juno, her ire already a-kindle."
"Why do I care?" Replied the Queen of gods.
"Because Aeneas shall found Rome." He answered.
There was then a silent pause, as King and Queen
Looked at one another, unsure: "So…?"
Mercury sighed aloud and glanced about, embarrassed,
"Rome shall destroy Carthage, fair Juno." He whispered.
"…" Came the stupefied reply.
"And Carthage is your favorite city, or something."

"AH!" Cried Hera/Juno. "Aeneas must be destroyed!"
Zeus, who had dozed off, suddenly leapt awake.
"Aeneas, you say? All right, then this is Roman,
Right? And that means I'm Jupiter. Goodnight."