Only a Code-Bearing Man Shall Pass

by wootbot

A God From The Machine

There are no quick fixes in life. Except one. 

"Hey, thanks for picking me up." 

"No problem. These early morning flights are a drag. What time is your flight? I'm just gonna check if it's on time." 

"It's the 7:45 Delta flight. Hey…uh…are you sure you wanna do that while you drive?" 

"Do what?" 

"Check your phone like that. Don't you want to keep your eyes on the road?"

"Why would I do that?" 

"You don't know? It's incredibly dangerous to use your phone while you drive." 

"Ohhhh right. Well, maybe it is for other people. But I'm fine." 

"That's the problem, everybody thinks THEY are such good drivers that the rules don't apply to them--"
"No, no. It's not that." 

"Then what?"

"I have Godmode enabled." 


"Yeah, Godmode. You don't know that cheat?" 


"Oh man, it makes life so much more fun. Just shift to the left twice, then to the right twice. Then punch the air three times. And crouch. You can do it in the car." 

"Ok. Uh. Uh. Ih. Ih. Oof. Oof. Oof. Eep. I don't feel anything." 

"Let's see if you did it right. Hold on…"