Radioactive Cat

by wootbot

Schrödinger in Show Biz

Coming this summer, it's ​Schrödinger's Cat

Hi, Mr. Studio executive, thanks for meeting with me.

"Cut the chit-chat, Mr Schrödinger. Let's make this quick. What's your dumb idea?"

I'd like to make a film explaining my scientific theory.

"Okay, a science doc? That's strike one, but keep going. What's the theory?"

Well, you take a cat and you put him in a steel chamber along with a Geiger counter that has just a tiny bit of radioactive substance in it. Over the course of an hour, it is possible that one of the atoms in that substance will decay - which in this case would set off the geiger counter which would in turn cause a hammer shatter a vial of poison killing the cat. But the atoms are equally likely not to decay, thus leaving the poison vial sealed and allowing the cat to live. So if you think about it, in that hour, the cat is neither officially dead, nor officially alive.

"Here's what I think. I like it on paper. It's like one of those Saw movies but with a cat."

Well, no, it's actually more of a scientific paradox… 

"Whoa, no five dollar yet, wise guy. The problem is that people love cats and they love action. The cat lives, that's too boring. The cat dies, that's too sad. Only indie films can get away with letting a cat die, and that's just because nobody watches 'em. No, you need a third scenario."

A third scenario?

"Hear me out. Two kids wanna recreate your theory, right? They get a cat, they get a box, they get a MacGyver counter or whatever. They put the cat in, the nuclear stuff goes haywire, but the poison doesn't kill the cat. It turns the cat into a super hero who fights crime. Eh?"

But that totally undercuts the science.

"I can offer you 40 million for the idea."