Possibly an echidna
It might seems strange to order a random 2-pack of shirts. After all, wouldn't you rather have control over your life instead of handing it over to chaos and chance? That depends on your viewpoint.
You, life, and the universe all operate on a kind of controlled randomness. You probably won't get stung by a bee today, but there is maybe a 1/5,000 chance that you will. The Earth won't explode spontaneously today, right? For sure? Or is there some chance, however infinitesimal, that it will?
What we call "certainty" is really just probability so remote that it is effectively not worth thinking about. It seems certain that you will not win the lottery four times in a row or wake up one day as a cockroach, but really these events are just extremely, extremely unlikely. But still possible.
So why not embrace the chaotic maelstrom of randomness that is everyday life by ordering a 2-pack of random t-shirts from Shirt.Woot? Well, OK, there are plenty of reasons…