I'll be your sweet little matryoshka.
3rd place in Derby #271: Shirt as Costume Redux, Guest Editor agingdragqueen's pick!
Hey, what's up? Sweet party, right? I totally know the guy who rents this place. So what's your name? Lacy? Cool, great to meet you Lacy! My name's Gabe. So what's your costume supposed to be? Sexy Librarian?
Oh. Sexy Michelle Obama? No? Just regular? Okay. Cool.
Me? Sexy Russian Nesting Doll. 'Cause I can get all up inside you! Get it? Ha ha ha!
What? Oh, yeah, I guess in this instance you would get inside me, because I'm bigger. But that…that's not really the metaphor I'm looking to convey. It sounds kind of, I don't know, gross when you say it that way.
I much prefer the sexually aggressive metaphor when I'm in the driver's seat, so to speak.
Wear this shirt: To your babushka's house.
Don't wear this shirt: Around the Ukraine. They're still pretty hacked off at all things Russian.
This shirt tells the world: "I enjoy explaining things to strangers a lot."
We call this color: The Red Menace