Under the waves, everything you know about turtles is wrong.
Yeah, I’m slow when I’m on your turf. But how fast can YOU swim? Up on dry land, I’m a joke, a metaphor, a cautionary example of what can happen when a rabbit rests on his laurels. But how do you think that smug rabbit would do out in the open sea?
Me, I’m clocking 10 knots without breaking a sweat, faster if I’m frightened. I’m a freakin’ torpedo with a beak and teeth. Still laughing? Leave your turtle jokes on the beach, landlubber. They don’t make any sense down here.
Wear this shirt: while grazing on sea grass, an essential function for the maintenance of marine ecosystems.
Don’t wear this shirt: while you take a nap because you’re so far ahead of your opponent you can’t possibly lose this race.
This shirt tells the world: “You mess with my nest, you better hope the police catch you first.”
We call this color: Dream of the Royal Blue Turtles.
Design Placement: Centered
3X – S: 13.79” x 19”
WXL - WS: 10.34” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.71” x 12”
Pantone Colors: 7459C - 279C - 2757C - 2707C
Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.