2nd place in Derby #271: Shirt as Costume Redux, Editor's Choice!
The human is piloted by the penguin. The penguin is itself piloted by a pigeon, because if humans found a bird had infiltrated their society, they'd definitely trust a cute penguin more than a pigeon.
The pigeon is piloted by a mouse who's piloted the pigeon for so long that he's forgotten he's a mouse. As far as he's concerned, he's a pigeon. But in reality, he's a gnat who's piloting a wasp piloting a worm piloting a pigeon piloting a penguin piloting a human.
We mentioned the human is a pilot, right?
Wear this shirt: while watching March of the [People Controlled by] Penguins.
Don't wear this shirt: flying.
This shirt tells the world: "I'm a bird trapped inside a man's body."
We call this color: I would pilot A.C. Slate-r if I were a penguin.