Shh, The Rat Is Our Patron

by Wootbot

Guess Botticelli Just Missed The Cut

“Leonardo! The Pope said there was trouble!”

“Ah, Michelangelo, my brother! It seems The Critic has struck again, using his lack of vision and limited talent to render a judgement beyond his station and ability!”

Nyah ha ha! That’s what you think, Leonardo! But in reality, I serve a higher master… my own self-interest! And your work is flawed! Flawed! Take that! Ha ha ha ha ha!

“The fiend! But despite his inability to better himself and expand his knowledge, his arrogance is too powerful for any one of us alone. We must gather our forces. Raphael! Donatello! Hurry, we need you!”

“We’re here, my brothers. And I’m already hard at work, turning my powers of sprezzatura upon the situation, bringing his weaknesses to the utmost clarity.”

“Good work, Raphael! And while you’re doing that, I’ll confuse him with my perspectival illusions, moving his mind closer to the ideal form!”

What… what are you doing? I feel… I feel like… like READING a BOOK! I feel like… like… there are things I can LEARN… from OTHER PEOPLE!

“It’s working, guys! Don’t let up!”

You help ‘em, Leo! I’m gonna lay down a lesson in Mannerism!”


No! No! I don’t accept this! The only reason I don’t know what you’re talking about is that you’ve been unclear! I am the arbitrator of taste! I am the critic! No man is as gifted as I! Do you hear? I’ll be back! I’ll be back! Nyah ha! Nyah ha ha ha!

“Good work, brothers! Together, we’ve taught that poor lost soul a lesson about what art is meant to do.”

“That’s right, Michelangelo! Today we’ve proved that art conquers all. Except… Donatello, why do you look so sad?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, Raphael. Just part of my quest to fully recreate human emotion through my work.”

“Hey, what about the emotion of hunger? I’m starving!”

“Yeah, Leonardo’s right! How about we hit De Medici’s for those free slices he promised us?”

“What a great plan! Hey, Leonardo, I thought you were supposed to be the great inventor!”

“Hahahahaha, you said it, bro!”

“Hey, who let this rat in here?”

“Oh, that’s gross! Ew!”

“Jeez, close the door next time, guys. You want to give us all plague or something?”

Wear this shirt: on the soccer field. If you get caught diving you can play it off as complex performance art.

Don’t wear this shirt: and expect to get all the signatures. Unless you’ve got a time machine handy. And if you’ve got a time machine, why is your hobby collecting autographs?

This shirt tells the world: “Aw, man, is THAT what Kiss looks like without the makeup? Weak!”

We call this color: To Properly Pronounce Van Eyck Pretend You Have A Throat Full Of Creme

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13.57” x 19”
WXL - WS: 10.18” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.93” x 12.5”

Pantone Colors:  631C - 472C - 7439C - 7416C - 476C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.