It's Just a Misunderstanding
3rd Place in Derby #274: Monsters, Robots, and Aliens!, Guest Editor tgentry's pick!
Oh, hey, wait a second! Let's talk this through! What's with all the hate? I was simply pointing out the monster in my pocket and how happy he is to see you!
What? Why is that offensive? He's happy! And very outgoing!
I don't see what you're getting so upset about. Let's rewind a second and walk through this: You walked in. The monster in my pocket noticed you and perked up at your presence. I said, "Hey, there's a monster in my pocket and he's happy to see you!" You slapped me and started calling the police.
No, I'm still not getting it.
Wear this shirt: To impress small children.
Don't wear this shirt: Without pants.
This shirt tells the world: "I'm legally required to let you know I'm moving in next door."
We call this color: Red Eyed Monster