Straw, Sticks, & Bricks BBQ

by Wootbot

TO: ALL MEMBERS OF THE HOME OWNERS’ ASSOCIATION

2nd place in Derby #209: Fairy Tales, with 866 votes!

I know the recent confusion some members have had regarding zoning requirements for new developments and home additions has inspired some heated discussions. Obviously we all want Sunny Hills to be the best community it can, which is why we elected to create the HOA to draft and enforce the rules we all have to follow. I don’t like being “the bad guy” more than anyone else, but unfortunately my position requires me to enforce the rules, even the less popular ones.

I want you all to know that I don’t hold any ill will towards any of the Pig families for their questioning our rules, nor do I want any bad feelings left over between the rest of us who took sides in this argument. They presented their case, I presented mine, and in the end the Home Owners’ Association made their ruling. I consider the matter resolved, and I hope you all do too. It’s a shame the Pigs didn’t want to stay in the community; I feel like we could’ve grown to be friends, but I wish them the best.

Any way, as a sort of peace offering I have requested HOA permission for an unscheduled BBQ at my place this Saturday. Please feel free to bring the little ones; I’ll have drinks and meat provided but any specialty side dishes you have in your recipe box would be much appreciated!

Hope you guys like pork.

Sincerely,

A. Wolf
Sunny Hills Home Owners’ Association Head of Zoning Enforcement

Wear this shirt: In North Carolina. They won’t even let you CALL it a barbecue unless there are three pigs on the grill, minimum.

Don’t wear this shirt: While you’re getting a foot massage.

This shirt tells the world: “I enjoy it because this was the last book I ever read.”

We call this color: Throw some gas on that grass and let’s roast some pig ass.

 

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