You should all be thankful that this writeup isn't an Ayn Rand parody
I want you to all know that I could have written a parody of Atlas Shrugged with a certain video game plumber replacing the protagonist, but I chose not to. Right now you could be reading about how the tenets of objectivism demonstrate that those who can be jumped on should be jumped on. However, I made a judgment call and spared you all.
You don't want to read an Ayn Rand parody, and I don't want to write one. So let's just sit in contemplative silence for a bit, and muse on how much nicer things are when Ayn Rand parodies aren't involved.
You're very welcome. No, no, really, you don't need to thank me. I'm no "hero" just because I saved the Shirt.Woot audience from a belabored satire of Ayn Rand. I saw the right thing to do and I made a choice.