Even The Losers Get Lucky (not you ApeLad, you're always lucky)
Oh, ApeLad! We love you.
We interrupt this write-up to bring you this SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: ApeLad designs are like potato chips; you can't sell just one! That's why we decided to launch this SURPRISE APELAD SHIRTSTORM! So have at it, Ape-fans! Get all your favorite ApeLad designs RIGHT HERE! We now return to today's write-up (for design "Duhnisaurs"):
Every fossil we have was a creature that just wasn't good enough.
Think about that, people. Everything we know about science, everything we know about evolution, every old jellyfish bone or helpless caveman trapped in amber got there because it came from a) some loser who walked where they shouldn't and b) some loser nobody wanted to go down and save.
So don't despair if you accidentally lock yourself in a car or just happen to leave your shoelace untied and fall down into a vat of glue that preserves you into the future. Sure, your peers will laugh at you, but take heart! To the scientists of tomorrow, you'll be the greatest thing they've ever seen.
You might just get some future guy tenure!