Tasty Crunchable Birdses

by wootbot

The Sandersillion

One Recipe to rule them all... 

During the 12th century of the Second Age, Colonel Sauron approached the Elven chefs of Eregion, promising the power to change Middle Earth to reflect the culinary wonders of Valinor. Tempted by power, these chefs forged 13 secret herbs and spices to enhance their recipes. 

However, Colonel Sauron busily forged his own recipe in the heart of Kentucky: The One Fried Chicken Recipe, designed to be so delicious that it would dominate those who wielded the 13 secret herbs and spices. 

Realizing they had been betrayed, the elves cast off the spices they had created, vowing to never use them. But Colonel Sauron's dark machinations spread to mortal men, and he lured them into his restaurants with the promise of poultry power. 

The men were corrupted by the fried chicken, and became slaves to the Dark Lord's recipe. Slowly these once-mighty kings and captains grew fat and complaisant, unable to resist the finger-licking deliciousness of the One Recipe. They became Nazgizzard -- chicken-wraiths -- suffering unending life in the succor of their lord.