Tesla Tech

by wootbot

Earn Your Lumps.

Science is fun, but it's a lot more "research and experiment" than "explosions and Batman gadgets."

Welcome, incoming Freshmen. I stand before you today excited for what lies ahead of you. I do need to clarify some things, though, since we've had a recent plague of misguided enrollment. Yes, you will be learning all manner of amazing thing, but pop culture may have misled you in just how applicable that knowledge will be.

Chemistry majors, you should know before you begin that we will not be turning you all into little Walter Whites and turning you loose to begin careers in the production and/or distribution of methamphetamine. Yes, you will learn enough of the chemical sciences that you will probably be able to manufacture drugs. That doesn't mean you should. It's nowhere near as glamorous as TV makes it out to be.

Similarly, students of our Engineering program will still be bound by the rules of physics and thus unable to manufacture Tony Stark-esque exoskeletal armor to give you the power of flight, repulser rays, and all other manner of comic book foolishness. Biology students will in no way find a way to cross their DNA with that of a spider or jellyfish or some such nonsense to give themselves horrific strength or stamina or flight or whatever.

But other than that, science is super fun. Good luck!