Thanks, "Science"

by wootbot

Gift Horse Orthodontia

What has science really given us? Beside that. 

Sure, science has given us crops that yield twice as much food per acre, averting the looming food crisis of the 1970s. But have you ever ordered a huge meal at the Cheesecake Factory, eaten way too much of it, and felt terrible both physically and emotionally for the rest of the night? What have you done about that, science?

And sure, science gave us lithium-ion batteries, which ushered in the mobile revolution in computing and allowed for hybrid cars. But how annoying is it when you're having lunch with your friend and they keep glancing down at their phones? Thanks a lot, science.

Well sure, modern medicine has almost doubled life expectancy in developed countries, but have you seen what it's like to get old? It's the worst. So when you're frittering away your final lonely years in a nursing home, you'll know whom to thank: Science.

What's that? Doctors recently cured a baby born with HIV? Huh. Well, yeah, but…OK, there's no downside to that. YOU WIN THIS ONE, SCIENCE. Hope you're happy.