The Binge

by Wootbot

I Feel A Purge Coming Over Me

1st place in Derby #111: Blues, with 1403 votes!

When they offered me the gig, I said, “Sure, what’s the harm? Eat a few cookies, get a few laughs, then move on and do something real.” Now here it is 40 years later and I’ve gone nowhere. They don’t want to see what I can do with Ibsen. They don’t want to hear my album of tastefully arranged jazz standards. They don’t care about my all-puppet film adaptation of Tropic of Capricorn. No, they just want me to roll my eyes like some kind of idiot and gobble up a cookie or a letter or a telephone. Do you have any idea what I’ve done to my digestive system over the years? And for what? What am I? Just a clown, a freak – some even say a monster.

Wear this shirt: to your competitive-eating bouts.

Don’t wear this shirt: if cookie is not good enough for you.

This shirt tells the world: “I try to break free of my addictions, but I’m just a puppet.”

We call this color: Fuzzy ‘n’ Blue ‘n’ Depressed.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13.3” x 11”
WXL - K4: 9” x 7.5”

Pantone Color(s): White – Cool Gray 6C – 729C – 2727C – 661C – Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.